16. Can this special love have a good side? ( Part 3 )




Guo Zhi lay on the bed with a blanket wrapped around him. His eyes closed, his forehead furrowed. His bruises are inflamed followed by a high fever.

He had a bad dream. Many bad things happen in his dream. He was laughed at by everyone. He was mocked as a disgusting person. The people grabbed the rattan and ganged up on him. Guo Zhi cried, screaming in pain, asking the people to stop but no one cared. Nobody thought about his feelings. In their eyes Guo Zhi is so disgusting. They just want him to disappear. Wherever he will run away, he won't be able to escape. Where he can be free? This is their world  A world that doesn't provide a place for people like him.

God, why did you make a difference that would only make this suffer? Which will only make him feel disgusting?

Guo Zhi woke up from his nightmare which was greeted with pain from his body. He looked at the ceiling. He realized that even though he woke up, the dream wouldn't stop watching him.

Is this how you feel lonely because you are different from others? It feels like everyone is estranged. Why isn't someone else like him? Why only himself? Is there anyone out there who is the same as him?
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Zhou Hui was anxiously taking painkillers and reducing fever. "Guo Zhi, how are you? Don't make me worry."

"Don't worry, mom. I feel better." Guo Zhi smiled.

"How not to worry? Your father is too harsh on you." Zhou Hui couldn't help complaining. "Even though I don't understand your father's attitude, you're our only child. We don't want you to fall into the wrong things."

"I know."

"Forget that. You're too young so you don't understand what you're saying. When you get older, you will understand why your father is so angry."

"Fine, I'll forget everything." Guo Zhi promised seriously to Zhou Hui.

Guo Yunyong was also very worried, but he just stood in front of the door, refraining from entering. He thought it was a punishment that Guo Zhi deserved. He hopes his son realizes his mistake.

After a week of lying in bed, Guo Zhi finally returned to school. He seemed unchanged from the usual. He only hid the bruises on his body. Hiding himself who differed greatly in his heart. Untouched.
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At the moment Guo Zhi sees his reflection. Tears welled up. Something hidden inside him will always be in his body. He took off his clothes and a bad scar is now visible.

Did he make a mistake again? Does he likes Shi Xi? Does he still likes men? The scar on his body feels a little pain. Will Shi Xi react like his parents? Will Shi Xi hate him?

So many complicated things. Mom, he has gotten bigger now but still doesn't understand all this.

He shouldn't have come here if he knew this would happen.

He shouldn't take off Shi Xi's hat, shouldn't know Shi Xi, shouldn't be nice to him but he does. Because that person is Shi Xi.

With trembling fingers Guo Zhi touched his scar. This is wrong. He had promised his parents that it was a mistake. Maybe he already realized but didn't dare to think about it. One error occurred again.

He is a man, has the same body as Shi Xi.  The reason is simple but that is the biggest obstacle.

Suddenly Shi Xi appears in the mirror, stands on the doorstep and looks at him silently. Shi Xi is no longer wearing a hat, his handsome face is in the same reflection as his bad scar. Guo Zhi scooped up his shirt and covered the scar while shaking his head strongly. "Don't look. Don't look at me."

Guo Zhi wants to run away. He did not want Shi Xi to see it. He had already known the reaction of his parents. What if Shi Xi reacts the same? What should he do?

Shi Xi doesn't talk. His feet moved forward. Guo Zhi stepped back still crying.  He did not think his tears continued to flow since earlier. "Sorry. I shouldn't have slapped you. I shouldn't have liked you. I'm sorry, Shi Xi. I'm gay. Really. I'm sorry."

Guo Zhi retreated until there was no room to move, Shi Xi approached, reaching for his chin forcing Guo Zhi's eyes to look at him. Interrupted Guo Zhi who still continued to coldly apologize. "Shut up."

Guo Zhi no longer speaks. He has fallen into Shi Xi's trap. If he falls, he will die, his rhythmic voice beautiful. Listen to the sentence that made him rise again. "Guo Zhi, there shouldn't be an apology for liking anything."

"Even if I like you?"

"Even if you like me."

"It's not like this. You won't understand. This scar is to make me forget that I like men. But I ..." Guo Zhi sobbed, unable to continue his sentence.

Shi Xi removes Guo Zhi's hand from covering his scar with clothes. His other hand stroked along the scar line. He gently said, "This scar won't make you forget. It will only make you keep remembering it."

"Now you know, Shi Xi. Are you going to hate me like everyone else?" Guo Zhi crouched down still crying. Save the tip of his fingers.

"No."

"Don't lie to me. My dad says I'm so embarrassing. I'm disgusting. So you hate me too right?"

"No."

"I can't believe it. You're just trying to cheer me up."

"I don't need to cheer you up."

"Can you prove it? Smile."

"It is impossible."

"Then you hate me, right?" Guo Zhi tried to hold back his tears but the tears kept flowing.

Shi Xhi suddenly squatted down and then held Guo Zhi's hand. Shi Xi brought his face close so his lips gently touched Guo Zhi's lips.

This summer, the temperature given by Shi Xi feels comfortable. Guo Zhi widened his eyes, his crying stopped. His heart feels warm. So warm.

Shi Xi stands up again, looking at Guo Zhi. "Can this be proof?"
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If he knows who he is, don't say a word.

Can this special love have a good side? Yes, now.

🌻🌻🌻

Donasi buat Choco
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